have you ever had an epiphany? a revelation so great that you feel its surreal, ephemeral even? me neither. what i do come across are blunt bits of 'in yo fayce!' truth. some things i can live with, some not so much.
lately something happened after which i wanted to really get into the zone (of my sadness). i wanted to shut people out, be passive aggressive, seclude myself, take lonesome walks in the cold, smoke up, the works... but something really really different happened this time; i rode my cycle and everything seemed to be right (read: this friend of mine refused to let me drown myself in sorrow. she called and texted, and came by and made me feel like it's always alright. atleast not as bad as we might want to think it is. and especially that nothing is as bad as it seems in the present. if only i had wallowed in sadness completely for a couple of days i might actually had been depressed. and now she's gone made me feel kinda stupid for almost feeling sorry for myself, given it doesnt take a lot to get me there).
if only all problems in life could be solved by a bit of cycling!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
growing up
there's a reason why i never like movies like Wake Up Sid: they're too real for me. most people watch a movie like that and go 'meh...' and i'm like 'wtf! gtfomofo!' because i like to think my life is something unique until some asshole comes along and makes a movie about some of it. is that the height of individuality one can possibly achieve? to be one-upped by a bloody bollywood movie?
do you know i still don't have a clue about what to do in life. i thought i was unique in that thought.. but no, turns out there are millions just as lost as myself, and i'm just one of that million.. this is not where i want to be, and i've got no one to tell me which way is up.. people say its maybe a good thing to let one "discover" things on their own, which is a bag of shit on fire really.. because sometimes, someone does need you to tell them what to do and take some blame for any shit that hits the fan along the way..
i need to grow up, but growing up means having to realise that the afore-written paragraph is crap, and one really does need to make the right decisions and own up to them to grow... as a person...
do you know i still don't have a clue about what to do in life. i thought i was unique in that thought.. but no, turns out there are millions just as lost as myself, and i'm just one of that million.. this is not where i want to be, and i've got no one to tell me which way is up.. people say its maybe a good thing to let one "discover" things on their own, which is a bag of shit on fire really.. because sometimes, someone does need you to tell them what to do and take some blame for any shit that hits the fan along the way..
i need to grow up, but growing up means having to realise that the afore-written paragraph is crap, and one really does need to make the right decisions and own up to them to grow... as a person...
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
my response to: Proud to be a Fastian!
Obviously, the smart thing to do is to appreciate your university and remember the good stuff. Most mistakes/misfortunes in life, we can choose to forget, but ones university is the one thing that NO ONE lets you forget; friends, family, em...ployers, colleagues, subordinates... children. Its the one thing that can never be wiped clean, never forgotten!
And about appreciating the finer things about the university that granted us Undergraduate degrees like they were used shoes; what bothers (at least me) isn't what was wrong with the university, but how wrong it was, and how good it could've been, if not for the douchebaggery of a lot of different individuals. Its about extant expectations crushed in an instant (a semester), its about nascent dreams blown away... but well, I don't suppose this is either the time or the forum for a veteran Fastian to launch a tirade against the organization which, admittedly, did give him a couple of very good friends and taught him a lot about life.
And about appreciating the finer things about the university that granted us Undergraduate degrees like they were used shoes; what bothers (at least me) isn't what was wrong with the university, but how wrong it was, and how good it could've been, if not for the douchebaggery of a lot of different individuals. Its about extant expectations crushed in an instant (a semester), its about nascent dreams blown away... but well, I don't suppose this is either the time or the forum for a veteran Fastian to launch a tirade against the organization which, admittedly, did give him a couple of very good friends and taught him a lot about life.
Friday, October 22, 2010
the thing about photos
I couldn't ever really define what i like about photos. For one, its easier to just see with your eyes than take a picture; you remember most of it anyway. And capturing a Kodak moment is one thing, but taking a good photo is really bloody hard, especially with a manual; you're adjusting your position, and your lens, and the aperture, and the shutter speed, AND the iso, and then, leg cramp! yea, it happens that way sometimes.
The thing about a good photo is that it can transform any regular, absolutely average thing or event into something truly magnificent. Some times you can capture something so unique, you might never have known it existed if not for the fact that you pushed that little black button at just the right time. Try taking a picture of the mug you drink tea in everyday, focus on the tip of the rim, and whoa! You'd be like, is that my mug?! and then you'd be like, it totally is! and then you'd be like, sweet! :P
The thing about a good photo is that it can transform any regular, absolutely average thing or event into something truly magnificent. Some times you can capture something so unique, you might never have known it existed if not for the fact that you pushed that little black button at just the right time. Try taking a picture of the mug you drink tea in everyday, focus on the tip of the rim, and whoa! You'd be like, is that my mug?! and then you'd be like, it totally is! and then you'd be like, sweet! :P
Thursday, October 21, 2010
being bored...
A lot happened yesterday, some of which made me realise a couple of things about somethings... Primarily, i realised that its definitely NOT okay just to get bored of something. I pride myself on being very straightforward and kinda blunt, and i like to say stuff like it is. But its not supposed to be done that way all the time. You have to sugar-coat stuff most of the time, and you just can't let people know what you're feeling, because that kind of information leakage comes and bites you in the ass- repeatedly!
Its not okay to just lose interest and get bored of something. When that happens, you should always ask yourself why you're bored, and hopefully you'll come up with something that keeps you interested. Because being straightforward is one thing, and whining like a bitch is another- being an ass is another, but we'll get to that some other day. Spouting optimism isn't really my thing, but i suppose you have to have some of it to stay happy.
Its not okay to just lose interest and get bored of something. When that happens, you should always ask yourself why you're bored, and hopefully you'll come up with something that keeps you interested. Because being straightforward is one thing, and whining like a bitch is another- being an ass is another, but we'll get to that some other day. Spouting optimism isn't really my thing, but i suppose you have to have some of it to stay happy.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
i dreamed a dream in time gone by: picture of health
i dreamed a dream in time gone by: picture of health: "day dreamingchain smokingalways laughingalways jokingi remain the samedid i tell you that i love you?[-all saints]"
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
How To Build A Perfect Footballer
Posted 24/07/10 13:22
Courtesy: Paul little, Football365
As part of the fallout from England's inept performances at the recent World Cup, I have become concerned that should my two-year-old son one day become a professional footballer in these islands he will become just another one of those useless automatons we saw in South Africa.
To avoid such a sorry fate, I have come up with five strategies to mould him into a gifted, intuitive, creative, visionary livewire. I intend to implement some or all of these steps for the good of my son and the good of football. And as the FA considers the development of National Football Centre, perhaps they could do worse than track the progress of my program when they are planning the structures required to return English football to the summit of the international game.
1 - Instil hunger, drive and ambition
It is often argued that the greatest talents of the game honed their talents in slums where kicking a rolled up sock whilst avoiding state-sponsored death squads was the only diversion from their poverty stricken upbringing. To that end, we will holiday in the slums of Rio over the next few years with a view to a permanent move. Whilst I work on arrangements for that, I will be bringing up my son in a cardboard box in the back garden.
2 - Nurture natural balance
Some years back former Ireland boss Brian Kerr remarked that in his latter years in charge of the Irish youth sides the players coming through the system lacked the natural balance and fluidity of movement of their African and South American counterparts. He blamed this on the fact that kids in Ireland no longer played as actively outdoors as they used too. Over-protective parents, computer games and telly were at the heart of this sorry evolution. Kids no longer climbed trees, rode bikes, and tottered along high walls surrounding electricity sub-stations.
To try and counter this, my boy will be denied technological distraction in his early years. He will also have to traverse a narrow beam over a pit on a unicycle to get his meals of chicken, beans and pasta. When he is older, I will have him hunted by a pack of rabid dogs to encourage him to run and climb.
3 - Low centre of gravity
I have noted that many of the world's great players at the present are short in stature. Xavi, Iniesta and Messi are the obvious examples. Consequently, I am investigating ways of stunting a young man's growth to ensure that critical low centre of gravity. Does smoking still do the job? Or would placing heavy weights on hid head and shoulders be more effective?
4 - Awareness
Watch Xavi, Iniesta, Messi - their peripheral vision is so impressive that surely there is more at play? Have their other senses - hearing or smell, for example - been enhanced in some way?
It is worth investigation. So, I'm considering some drills where family members will throw objects at the young lad as he plays, to try and get him to get his head up and encourage greater awareness. As he develops, we may increase the difficulty with the use of a blindfold, scented rocks and a large cudgel with small bells attached.
5 - A controlled diet of televisual football
Eventually, the boy must see football on the telly and be encouraged to dream. English football will not be allowed - for there lies only ruin, heartbreak and confusion. I am considering a controlled and rigorous immersion diet of Barcelona in full flow. To that end, I have purchased a set of the eyelid clamps used in Clockwork Orange as visual aids.
Paul Little
Courtesy: Paul little, Football365
As part of the fallout from England's inept performances at the recent World Cup, I have become concerned that should my two-year-old son one day become a professional footballer in these islands he will become just another one of those useless automatons we saw in South Africa.
To avoid such a sorry fate, I have come up with five strategies to mould him into a gifted, intuitive, creative, visionary livewire. I intend to implement some or all of these steps for the good of my son and the good of football. And as the FA considers the development of National Football Centre, perhaps they could do worse than track the progress of my program when they are planning the structures required to return English football to the summit of the international game.
1 - Instil hunger, drive and ambition
It is often argued that the greatest talents of the game honed their talents in slums where kicking a rolled up sock whilst avoiding state-sponsored death squads was the only diversion from their poverty stricken upbringing. To that end, we will holiday in the slums of Rio over the next few years with a view to a permanent move. Whilst I work on arrangements for that, I will be bringing up my son in a cardboard box in the back garden.
2 - Nurture natural balance
Some years back former Ireland boss Brian Kerr remarked that in his latter years in charge of the Irish youth sides the players coming through the system lacked the natural balance and fluidity of movement of their African and South American counterparts. He blamed this on the fact that kids in Ireland no longer played as actively outdoors as they used too. Over-protective parents, computer games and telly were at the heart of this sorry evolution. Kids no longer climbed trees, rode bikes, and tottered along high walls surrounding electricity sub-stations.
To try and counter this, my boy will be denied technological distraction in his early years. He will also have to traverse a narrow beam over a pit on a unicycle to get his meals of chicken, beans and pasta. When he is older, I will have him hunted by a pack of rabid dogs to encourage him to run and climb.
3 - Low centre of gravity
I have noted that many of the world's great players at the present are short in stature. Xavi, Iniesta and Messi are the obvious examples. Consequently, I am investigating ways of stunting a young man's growth to ensure that critical low centre of gravity. Does smoking still do the job? Or would placing heavy weights on hid head and shoulders be more effective?
4 - Awareness
Watch Xavi, Iniesta, Messi - their peripheral vision is so impressive that surely there is more at play? Have their other senses - hearing or smell, for example - been enhanced in some way?
It is worth investigation. So, I'm considering some drills where family members will throw objects at the young lad as he plays, to try and get him to get his head up and encourage greater awareness. As he develops, we may increase the difficulty with the use of a blindfold, scented rocks and a large cudgel with small bells attached.
5 - A controlled diet of televisual football
Eventually, the boy must see football on the telly and be encouraged to dream. English football will not be allowed - for there lies only ruin, heartbreak and confusion. I am considering a controlled and rigorous immersion diet of Barcelona in full flow. To that end, I have purchased a set of the eyelid clamps used in Clockwork Orange as visual aids.
Paul Little
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