Rappaccini's Daughter

Mosses From an Old Manse and Other Stories- Nathaniel Hawthorne
Rappacini's Daughter starts of with a subtle joke when Hawthorne introduces the story as a translation from a story by a French Author, who he fails to mention is fictional. Hawthorne manages to anchor the readers mind to the idea that they are about to read something that not many have read, and hence gripping their interest deeply even before they start.

The morality of Giovanni, Rappaccini, Beatrice, Baglioni and even Lisabetta are dubious; they are all neither right nor wrong, not black nor white. Giovanni is the traveller, the student, posessing "...not a deep heart, but a quick fancy..." which is inadmirable but not unexpected. He denies his own senses and sensibilities when he takes Lisabetta's help to enter the garden. Rappaccini, the scientist whose love for his science renders him inhuman in the eyes of his peers, but in the end we see that it was his love for his daughter that caused him to make her the specimen of his experiment: to shield her from the cruel outside world. Beatrice, who aware of her poisonous nature still encourages this stranger to come down to her garden, knowing that being with her could be fatal to him. Baglioni, whose envy and hatred- in contrast to his colleague- makes him more human, but still in a way the most inhumane of all as he cries out at Rappaccini from Giovanni's window at the end.

The reference to the Garden of Eden makes me think of the dual consequences of being with Beatrice for Giovanni; ultimate happiness or absolute tragedy. Like Adam, his desire for Beatrice makes him make an irrational choice.

A theme recurring in many of Hawthorne's tales is the duality of morality. There is, in every epoch, an agreement on a set of morals, and a group of people who choose to defy them and hence restructure these prior agreements.

Adventures in Wonderland

(Alice's) Adventures in Wonderland

I'd only read this book before as a child, and a much much abridged version. Reading it now, in the context of this course was enriching. I found the book full of metaphors about, well, everything! I would describe the style of writing as something between confusing, but leaning towards intriguing.

I saw the character of Alice grow during the course of the book; wiser and smarter. Alice starts off as being the stereotypical believer, and it was thought provoking to see her react with intrigue rather than shock when so many unusual things were happening all around her. The whole baggatelle with her height and the key were representative of the way we sometimes try to get things in order but fail. We cry, there's a metaphorical pool of tears, and then friends and people around us help us get by.

The dodo holding the stick was an intriguing paradox; I thought of the dodo as a stupid bird, but the illustration of it holding a stick seemed to present it as wiser. At the same time, it could be a reference to how smart people around us are sometimes considered stupid, or vice versa, I'm not sure.The fact that she knew what a hookah was is also interesting, maybe about how we sometimes conjure information out of our subconcious to make sense of things. Father Williamson's tale was one about taking lessons from everything, which although not elaborated upon, is what Alice does throughout.The instance with the Cheshire cat is all about fear and respect of the unknown.

The number 3 came up as expected; 3 sisters at the bottom of the well and the 3 gardners (although I expected the numbers of the 3 gardners to make some obvious sense).

Lastly, the bit about uglification and the suppression of applause were very very smart. An enriching experience indeed!

growing up

there's a reason why i never like movies like Wake Up Sid: they're too real for me. most people watch a movie like that and go 'meh...' and i'm like 'wtf! gtfomofo!' because i like to think my life is something unique until some asshole comes along and makes a movie about some of it. is that the height of individuality one can possibly achieve? to be one-upped by a bloody bollywood movie?

do you know i still don't have a clue about what to do in life. i thought i was unique in that thought.. but no, turns out there are millions just as lost as myself, and i'm just one of that million.. this is not where i want to be, and i've got no one to tell me which way is up.. people say its maybe a good thing to let one "discover" things on their own, which is a bag of shit on fire really.. because sometimes, someone does need you to tell them what to do and take some blame for any shit that hits the fan along the way..

i need to grow up, but growing up means having to realise that the afore-written paragraph is crap, and one really does need to make the right decisions and own up to them to grow... as a person...

being bored...

A lot happened yesterday, some of which made me realise a couple of things about somethings... Primarily, i realised that its definitely NOT okay just to get bored of something. I pride myself on being very straightforward and kinda blunt, and i like to say stuff like it is. But its not supposed to be done that way all the time. You have to sugar-coat stuff most of the time, and you just can't let people know what you're feeling, because that kind of information leakage comes and bites you in the ass- repeatedly!

Its not okay to just lose interest and get bored of something. When that happens, you should always ask yourself why you're bored, and hopefully you'll come up with something that keeps you interested. Because being straightforward is one thing, and whining like a bitch is another- being an ass is another, but we'll get to that some other day. Spouting optimism isn't really my thing, but i suppose you have to have some of it to stay happy.

the frog and me

I used to wonder why the frog is considered the closest to humans (in terms of anatomy). Maybe its because we actually descend from frogs and not monkeys, maybe its just a coincidnence, or maybe God thought that this was the only creature He could spare to teach the humans about their bodies, who knows really?

Now I'm not much of a NatGeo person, but i noticed this one thing about frogs that NatGeo didn't notice. Ever happened to you that you're driving along the road after a nice bit of rain, and you notice that frog on the edge of the road just... there, maybe waiting for you to pass by or something. But as you close in on the frog, it does something amazing; it takes a leap of faith and starts crossing the road, knowing full well that anything could happen now. It doesn't stop, it doesn't turn back, it keeps hopping. Hoppity, hop, then... most of the time; splat!, but sometimes, there's this one audacious frog who gets to the other side of the road. You miss the splat, but you give some solid brotha' respect! to the little green guy who got through.

The point is, that the frog is like us, because it thinks like us! Humans always keep trying to destroy themselves, and not only in a negative way. I suppose that last statement is a little blunt, but the statement comes up quite often in most semi-serious conversations with good company. Facts like what the humans are doing to each other and what humans are doing to the earth are common examples of how humans are destructive by nature. The way we're compared to yeast is also a good example; yeast keeps feeding on its own excrement until its ruined, just fyi. Sometimes humans destroy themselves for a cause, for someone else, for love maybe, i don't know, and most of the time they do go splat, rhetorical of course, but sometimes they get to the other side, and many people acknowledge how amazing a feat they've witnessed against appalling odds.

I've written this between 3am and 4am, which is never a good idea, and it felt like it took me forever. I don't know what its going to sound like later, because i forgot most of what i wanted to write, and this is just a theory; I'll need to get my degree in BioPhysics before I can substantiate my hypothesis, yknow...

looking for the answer

I've tried and tested the writing after 3 a.m. theory before and i know its not ever the best thing. Yet we do it, and yet I do it... yet again. I feel lost. I've finished college and its evident I'm to do something else now, but what?

Am I to find a job, and become the corporate slave? Am I to maybe start giving back to society in some other way? Teach at a school maybe? Can I afford to sleep some of my days away? Join a new business perhaps? Should I maybe, as the cliche' goes, find myself first?

Its like the standing at the crossroads cliche' but so very different. My road has opened up into an open field; without paths or tracks or markings. Should I wait for God to help? Then again, I don't suppose God helps people who are just aimlessly standing in open fields.