The suicide theorem: corollary no. 1

Well anyone who knows me knows about our (my) suicidal frog theorem. So, it took a while but I've come up with a corollary to it, well not so much came up with it as witnessed it.

This was a while back, but Musti and I were driving to... well, someplace... It had rained some time back and as usual the frogs were out on the roads putting their lives on the line for love and humanity and peace y'know. We're not proud of it, but we killed some... I mean, it was suicide on their part, so don't look at me that way alright. Anyway, there was a dry patch and then (i forgot to mention it was night time, so our headlights were on) we turned onto a wider road. We saw this crazy-big frog on the far edge of the road. Our headlights barely caught a glimpse of it, it was a little far away. It saw us coming... I can't explain it, but I saw it in its eyes... I saw it; the will to take its own little hoppity life! I kept driving, who was I to deny that frog its God given right to Kamikaze glory.

The course was set, collision was inevitable. It all happened in a fraction of a second; i saw it take the supposed second-last jump, the next jump was going to be its last. When driving, one can never see the last jump, only the sound of it remains, lingers... until the next suicide atleast. Anyway, I saw it take the second last jump, then no sound. Mustafa was baffled, I was simply nonplussed. No squish... none at all!

I got out of the car to inspect and I saw it. This daddu, just sitting there in the middle of the road, inches before its death, just sitting... or so i thought. I saw its eyes, they were cold as ice. I saw it in its eyes. It was like- "Fuck that shit! imma just stop...! stop the madness...! stop the killin'...! just STOP!". Just like that, it saved itself from the asphalt of its doom.

The corollary simply states that sometimes, under inexplicable circumstances, a frog will go against its nature and refuse to take its own life. Now that, is rad!

the frog and me

I used to wonder why the frog is considered the closest to humans (in terms of anatomy). Maybe its because we actually descend from frogs and not monkeys, maybe its just a coincidnence, or maybe God thought that this was the only creature He could spare to teach the humans about their bodies, who knows really?

Now I'm not much of a NatGeo person, but i noticed this one thing about frogs that NatGeo didn't notice. Ever happened to you that you're driving along the road after a nice bit of rain, and you notice that frog on the edge of the road just... there, maybe waiting for you to pass by or something. But as you close in on the frog, it does something amazing; it takes a leap of faith and starts crossing the road, knowing full well that anything could happen now. It doesn't stop, it doesn't turn back, it keeps hopping. Hoppity, hop, then... most of the time; splat!, but sometimes, there's this one audacious frog who gets to the other side of the road. You miss the splat, but you give some solid brotha' respect! to the little green guy who got through.

The point is, that the frog is like us, because it thinks like us! Humans always keep trying to destroy themselves, and not only in a negative way. I suppose that last statement is a little blunt, but the statement comes up quite often in most semi-serious conversations with good company. Facts like what the humans are doing to each other and what humans are doing to the earth are common examples of how humans are destructive by nature. The way we're compared to yeast is also a good example; yeast keeps feeding on its own excrement until its ruined, just fyi. Sometimes humans destroy themselves for a cause, for someone else, for love maybe, i don't know, and most of the time they do go splat, rhetorical of course, but sometimes they get to the other side, and many people acknowledge how amazing a feat they've witnessed against appalling odds.

I've written this between 3am and 4am, which is never a good idea, and it felt like it took me forever. I don't know what its going to sound like later, because i forgot most of what i wanted to write, and this is just a theory; I'll need to get my degree in BioPhysics before I can substantiate my hypothesis, yknow...