"they want you to watch porn you sillys!!"- Tariq Qureshi

Just last night, i was discussing the situation in Pakistan with my rebel mamoo from Purdue, i told him (he's well informed, so he already knew but still he entertained my grievance) how facebook was blocked since yesterday morning, and that youtube and wikipedia were blocked as well. I was all whiny about how there isn't anything left to do on the internet anymore, and after the most briefest yet thoughtful of pauses he goes like "They want you to watch porn, silly!". I laughed so hard I thought I'd probably break something, and it was mostly because it just made so much sense!

it took most of us quite some time to switch our internet browsing preferences from desibaba to sites that construed a much positive influence on our lives like youtube, wiki, and such. And yet more time to stop searching for boobies on youtube and start following people like Norman Finkelstein, Imran Khan and Carl Sagan (and RWJ =3). Just when things got better these ignorant bitches in the Pakistan High Court went on and blocked Facebook and these other sites.

Lets discuss the motive; I got an sms yesterday, the gist of which was that by banning facebook in Pakistan, Facebook just lost 2 Billion Euro, yea you heard me, 2 Billion Euro, and if we keep up this stupidity for the next 7 days, Facebook's losses will reach around 40 Billion Euro. If even for a moment, we consider the aforementioned claims as true, it would be a testament to all those loafers in Pakistan who make a couple of dozen facebook accounts on facebook and send fraaandship requests to women all day, and play a lot of farmville in their spare time (and needless to say add their other accounts as neighbors). Its quite pathetic to suggest facebook would actually be losing money right now, and to talk about this further is like insulting my own intelligence. Haven't they heard of the thing about that the harder you squeeze, the more that will slip through your fingers?

The decision to block out Facebook doesn't make much sense to me, and most such decisions don't, which led me to my Nonsense-lativity Theory: "Blocking Facebook doesn't make sense anyway, and now once that its blocked, unblocking it eventualy would make no sense at all, so if we are to assume that nothing the Pakistani government will do in the future will make sense, then Facebook should be back on in a couple of days." I know! seems simple enough dunnit?!

Commenting on the original "Draw Muhammad Day" issue; the message the muslim populus should have been getting accross should have been that no matter what anyone writes, or draws about the Prophet (pbuh), it will never influence what we think of Him (pbuh) or the regard we have for Him (pbuh) in our hearts. Seems simple enough, doesn't it? (sigh)

What to do after Facebook...

No no, put down the blade you were going to cut your wrists with, and get off the roof if you were gonna throw yourself over. This is definitely not the way to cope with the absence of facebook in your life.

You should start off with counting what you REALLY did on fb all day, think about it... think really hard. If any of the things you did involved farmville you should go kill yourself now! drown yourself, its more painful that way. But think about it, you never really did anything constructive on fb anyway. Now you probably think i'm going to try and convince you that its all for the best.

But its not, everyone has the right to waste a bit of time on facebook, (even you losers who play farmville and any other zynga game other than mafia wars) and I hate the PTA for taking that away from us. They should probably be sued or something, but i don't think we can do that in pakistan.

Does the fb block really achieve anything? i don't think so, but we have short memories, and we'll probably switch to something else (you should remember how we discarded Orkut like it was just a piece of meat).

WHAT THE FUCK?!

WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with people in this country? How did we come to this? Why is the model of our society based on screwing people over? Have you ever noticed that people actually take pleasure in screwing over people around them just for the sake of it...?

This is what i witnessed today: I was in the second lane, and this incident took place in the first, this Corolla was driving pretty slow, slow enough not to be in the first lane. Now this other Corolla came up behind the first and started honking the fuck out of his horn like he was gonna crap his pants or somethin'. Now the second Corolla guy was an asshole, I admit, but guess what the first one does? He bloody slams on his brakes and the second slams into the back of the first one. What the fuck was THAT? These two weren't even drivers (chauffers), they actually looked like sane, God fearing individuals. Thank goodness i was moving too fast to witness the end of that debacle!

And yesterday. I was parked in the Liberty U, and actually properly parked (thank my lucky stars!). Anyway, the car to my right started backing out- oh, and for those of you who aren't familiar with the parking situation in Liberty, its a complete buttcrack!; double parking and all that shit- and a car, two cars to the right started backing out. This driver dude was parked behind the car to my right, so he moved his car a little ahead to let the car on my right back out. Now driver dudes who bring the mem sahibs to Liberty really love to properly park their cars, sit in the shit position on the parapet wall of the Liberty walkway and scratch their balls. So like every other ball scratching driver, the one moving his car was eager for the chance to give his a little scratch. Now as he moved his car forward, the car two spaces to my right started to back out, he was very stuck, and irritated, because if he'd waited those few moments of time, he could've parked where the second car was backing out. Anyway, he backed up to let the second car out, but because of his lapse of concentration due to his itching whatever, this other ball scratcher quickly parked in the place of the second. Well he still had the spot the first car vacated but no! this asswipe in a Lancer honks the living shit out of all of us and parks his car in the spot to my right. WHY screw over the poor driver dude? whose only wish in life was to sit on that parapet and have a little public scratch...

Somehow, we've degenerated into that annoying little kid from the simpsons, the pinnacle of whose life is to have a good "HA HA!" at some poor bastard. All I'm waiting for is for us to turn yellow any moment now...